The Last Girlfriend on Earth

The Last Girlfriend on Earth

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In this short book review, we’ll check out Simon Rich‘s The Last Girlfriend on Earth. The book is a collection of “love stories” which is very entertaining. Some of my favorite stories from the book are, Unprotected, Celebrity Sexceptions, Center of the Universe and The Present.


Simon Rich is one of my favorite American writers. I particularly like his contributions to the New Yorker. His sense of humor and writing style is naturally sharp and witty. He has a unique way of story telling. He has a unique style of making real life situations funny which I think is an incredible talent.

So, here are some of my favorite highlights from the book:

“I know the odds are against us. I know she’s a siren. I know she’s eaten people. I know she’s five thousand years older than me. But I really like her.”

“Before OkCupid profiles became mandated by the Galactic Government, the only way to find a mate was to self-induce brain damage and beg strangers for sex in public. The fact that anyone ever achieved sexual congress during these dark times is a remarkable testament to man’s will to survive.”

“Not much is known about pre-Internet courtship rituals. But presumably, if a twentieth-century male was in need of sexual release, he had no choice but to physically approach a female and, without any kind of warning, begin speaking to her. Needless to say, this must have been a highly upsetting experience for everyone involved. In order to mitigate the horror of the situation, primitive humans relied on a poison known as beer (figure 1) to damage their brains to the point of near unconsciousness.”

If you’re new to his work, I suggest you try to read Guys Walks Into the Bar and the Sell Out series. I’m trying not to repeat myself, but he’s funny!

The Last Girlfriend on Earth
By (author)  Simon Rich

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